When i was small, life used to be so simple, so naive, and so beautiful. Everything seemed to be attractive and there were no "strings attached" with anything coming your way. Any problem at school, used to stay there only. Friends were either your bench partners or lunch partners. Even the biggest of the fights were solved by a plain sorry or a "coffee bite".
But as i grew old, i started to feel the weight of this world. The responsibilities which come along with the friends, the many problems you have to face due to a very small act of your's, the talks behind your back just because you talk to another friend who is not your friend's friend. Things were no more simple and attractive. They had started to become complex and dull. I was getting the feel of responsibilities on my shoulder. But i was still trying to shrug them away and lead the life on my terms.
As i grew older, i realised that the world is just too ugly, and you cannot live it your way. Your friends are the one's who are your real foes. They are the one's trying to pull you down to reduce the competition around. Competition was the buzz word. Everyone was competing against everyone. There were no simple talks and simple outings, everything had a purpose behind it. No more innocent games and group of "best friends". The definitions began to change. "Friends" became someone whom you say "hi" to and "best friends" became someone whom you hang out with. The set of friends changed with every season. Everything had a string attached to it, every person had an ulterior motive to talk. Responsibilities grew, and so did the complexities of the world.
In such a scenario, to find "real" friend became the toughest task of my life. A thing which was always taken for granted became a type of mission in my life. I did just too much of self analysis in order to realise my capabilities, capture my kind of people, indulge in my kind of activities and make my kind of friends.
Today, when i look back to the definitions framed when i was 5 and compare them to what they are when i'm 20, i find a sea change. A change which i never wanted to be there, a change which i never expected. And it is now that i realise what growing old is, what getting "raw" experience is. It is your experience which teaches you about life and not anyone else's experiences. Today, when i know myself well enough, and know the people around me well enough, i see the world as it is. And i, again, find it beautiful.
