Friends lost, friends gained.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they stand alone, altogether, to face the world. I am on that spot right now. The so-called friends in college leave your back at some point or the other. The people you depended once in your life on leave you and move on. You are left alone, to fight the world alone.

I used to have a bog friend circle once, bubbling with friends, always up to something or the other. They ditched me and went away. Then came one friend in my life who apparently took a stand for me but then fucked my life badly and left me without any support. I tried to start off again with one more person who helped me gain my confidence in life back and made me stand on my feet all over again. But distances grew and we moved apart owing to the less time we spent together. I made two more friends and re-gained confidence back in life but they ditched me badly. Meanwhile, guys came in and left me. I fell in love and we moved apart. I kept crying my eyes out and he never turned back to wipe them off.

After such a roller-coaster ride in life, I trust no one now or rather I have lost my trust in people. As I sit here to pen down my feelings in order to feel a little lighter, I realise how much have I lost in just a span of five years. Feels like I've had a lifetime here and after this there is nothing else left which I need to do.

I miss few of the people I have lost, but they do not. I wonder if they ever will. I also feel happy to get rid of the people I was with, but that gives me no solace. I cherish the people who still stayed with me or are with me right now, but the loss keeps lingering in my head and does not let me enjoy the life left.

As I write all this down, teary eyed, I feel my heart sinks with pain for the friends I have lost and for the people who never turned back. I hope that I try to cherish my life without them and accept the truth and move on quickly.

Last year and few bad things - Ending of the Law school

Last year of law school definitely makes you philosophical. As I pen down this post sitting in my comfortable hostel room, I re-live the years spent in this college. Every memory is as fresh as new. But I am penning them down here.

People change and you realise that the person you hated the most all these years never cared about your hatred or the person you never talked to always wanted to talk to you. You forget the grudges and try to be with everyone. The huge groups once broken are reformed, with just different people in it. The 'lovers' become the most dreaded people around, leaving behind the people who hated you.

We learn to survive in the saddest of conditions in life, with the cleverest of people around. Law school does teach you how to live life in the cruel world outside.

Leaving that behind, you start feeling like 'know-it-all' by the end of four years and feel like not studying anymore. Juniors treat you like God and come for advise on every matter ever possible. It feels great to be of help but it leaves a lingering feeling inside that you are leaving college pretty soon. Friends plan trips to spend maximum quality time and people want to celebrate your birthdays around.

Midst all this happiness around, you feel the growing tension of getting yourself settled with some job and finding a decent paying 'naukri' after law school. The one lagging back paper brings chills down your spine at times and you feel that it will be so embarrassing to give it in your final year.

All said and done, last year of law school is definitely fun. Even though the tension of not having a decent job pricks you every now and then, it still feels like an achievement having spent five successful years in law school, and surviving it! :)