Just like that!

For a change I don't know from where to start writing, because even I don't know how it all started. A few months (or may be weeks) back, I made a new friend. It was as unusual as it could be.

I was always under the impression that no one reads my blogs and so whatever i write, no one will get to know. I used writing blogs as a way to get my emotions out. But this person one read them, scrutinized them, and gave me new ideas to improve on.

Just like that we started talking, and just like that we became great friends! We shared every happiness, every sad episode and every bit of "butter naan". He was the only person who believed in me, who believed that I have the potential to do something, otherwise I, myself, had lost hope in me.

And just like that, one fine day, while having one of those fine talks, we moved apart. I don't know why and I don't have a clue either. I kept waiting, but the silence never broke.

Just like that, I lost a close friend, the only person who believed in me, and an awesome "eating partner". I never felt so bad about myself, never felt so odd about myself, and never felt so left out.

Things became wrong, just like that. Everything ended, just like that. And just like that I hope that if he reads this post, he realises why things went wrong and explain them to me as well.

I'm sorry that there's no chance for you, but there's no chance for you step out of the friendship we have! I hope you understand.

Nostalgia

Memories are something which you treasure so much that when you actually see them or get a chance to relive them again, you use the opportunity to the fullest.

This idea came up in my mind after i walked down the memory lane. A house warming started it all. Roaming around for a "freaky" gift and then meeting the friends you used to do "khurafats" with was ultimate experience. At that moment, life could not have been better. And then, one of the best times spent in my life, my school days, came up to life. The school reunion brought back all the good and bad memories of the school. The corridors where we used to "hang" around, the canteen samosas and chai, the third last bench of class, the AV room where we used to sing songs on mic and get scolded for, the chemistry lab where I dropped concentrated sulphuric acid on myself, the talks sitting in the "nali", all the memories came back to life, one by one. And the feeling of reliving them was so great that I wanted to stay in that feel forever.

Photos and videos are the only things left for us now, to remember the good times we've spent. But they don't suffice at times. And thus attempts like this gain so much importance, you realise it when you act on it.

L.I.F.E.

When i was small, life used to be so simple, so naive, and so beautiful. Everything seemed to be attractive and there were no "strings attached" with anything coming your way. Any problem at school, used to stay there only. Friends were either your bench partners or lunch partners. Even the biggest of the fights were solved by a plain sorry or a "coffee bite".

But as i grew old, i started to feel the weight of this world. The responsibilities which come along with the friends, the many problems you have to face due to a very small act of your's, the talks behind your back just because you talk to another friend who is not your friend's friend. Things were no more simple and attractive. They had started to become complex and dull. I was getting the feel of responsibilities on my shoulder. But i was still trying to shrug them away and lead the life on my terms.

As i grew older, i realised that the world is just too ugly, and you cannot live it your way. Your friends are the one's who are your real foes. They are the one's trying to pull you down to reduce the competition around. Competition was the buzz word. Everyone was competing against everyone. There were no simple talks and simple outings, everything had a purpose behind it. No more innocent games and group of "best friends". The definitions began to change. "Friends" became someone whom you say "hi" to and "best friends" became someone whom you hang out with. The set of friends changed with every season. Everything had a string attached to it, every person had an ulterior motive to talk. Responsibilities grew, and so did the complexities of the world.

In such a scenario, to find "real" friend became the toughest task of my life. A thing which was always taken for granted became a type of mission in my life. I did just too much of self analysis in order to realise my capabilities, capture my kind of people, indulge in my kind of activities and make my kind of friends.

Today, when i look back to the definitions framed when i was 5 and compare them to what they are when i'm 20, i find a sea change. A change which i never wanted to be there, a change which i never expected. And it is now that i realise what growing old is, what getting "raw" experience is. It is your experience which teaches you about life and not anyone else's experiences. Today, when i know myself well enough, and know the people around me well enough, i see the world as it is. And i, again, find it beautiful.